Interesting Twist

The drive to mediation was a silent drive..not knowing what we walking into.  We arrive at 10:30, wonder around the building and finally find the office we are supposed to be in.  The mediator is with Justin-victory number 1-he showed up!! We met with the mediator from 11 to 12.  She asked us about our family and we talked about what we were willing to offer regarding an open adoption.  The mediator told us about the conversation that Justin and her had.  He was full of anger about the situation as he does not grasp the concept of why he was not able to have Brandon from the beginning.  He was angry with our adoption agency and our birth mother for giving us Brandon, but the good thing was that he was finally not angry with us.  Big Step!  Around noon we walked into a room that the birth father was already in and did an official introduction of ourselves with hand shaking and everything.  Somehow general conversation went on for what seemed like an hour.  Maybe it was just me because I was paying three people to be there, but we finally got down to business.  The mediator asked our birth father what he wanted regarding pictures and contact.  The discussion of him having Brandon never took place, it was like he had been advised (thank god) that he would most likely not win in court and this was his opportunity to ask for what he wanted.  Two hours later we were leaving mediation to get Brandon so they could have a visit with him.  In essence a verbal agreement to relinquish his rights was made!  Nothing official as the lawyer and mediators thought it might be too much to ask him to sign as we were all pretty much walking on eggshells around him trying not to say the wrong thing.  We spent the next two hours with our birth father, his father, Greg and I, and Brandon.  We all played with Brandon and at times it was really hard for our birth father to see Brandon and to see him pull away from him as he was a complete stranger.  We sent them back to IL with a full tank of gas and drinks on us.  Trying to keep them as happy as we can!  Our birth fathers father was surprisingly encouraging Justin that this open adoption arrangement was a good thing to do.  We talked a little about how often and what kind of contact we could all agree on but nothing official was decided.  We gave each other our PO Box addresses so we could send things to each other for Brandon.  He even texted us when he got home that night to let us know he made it home allright, which was about midnight, poor guy had been up since 2:30AM that morning.  The plan is for him to return on a weekend sometime in the near future (2-3 weeks) to sign the papers and have his mom meet Brandon and have another visit session.  So we feel like we are on the brink of this all being over, but we are not there yet.  Nothing in mediation is binding so we can only hope and pray that he will not change his mind.  Now again we wait and wait and every call or email we get we will wonder if somethings changed or not.  Please keep the prayers coming! 
I was in Brandon's room today all by myself-could not bring myself to go to work today (way to exhausted) and I was able to say the word son out loud for one of the first times ever without feeling so uncertain about our future. That felt really good! 

Fun Pics-making these for mediation as a peace offering

Mediation

Things have changed...not surprised, but not too much.  Mediation is now scheduled for Thursday.  BFather will meet with the mediator, then we will meet with the mediator, and then we will all meet together.  Will let you know how that goes.  In the meantime, enjoy the most recent pic of the kids :-)

BBQ PARTY

WOW-Tebbe Family you sure know how to throw a party!!  Had so much fun last night and I dont think there are any words that I can use to show our gratitude...but I will try.  Thank you so much for putting on this fundraiser for our little B, its so amazing to see all the support we have! Bob and family-thank you so much for donating some beverages and silent auction items!!
Fiedlers-thank you for bringing the bounce house-my kids are still sleeping :-)  And thank you to everyone who came out and supported us, and also to those who were unable to come, but supported us anyways!  Thank you to everyone who prays for Brandon and our family.  Thank you to everyone who thinks about Brandon and lets us know they are thinking about us. 
I kept trying to take a moment to look around and take it all in, but then I would start to cry!   Will never forget this night, felt so loved!! 

Mediation

Something we never thought the birth-father would agree to, but he has agreed to try mediation.  No guarantees, but if it works then we would win and wound not have to go to court.  If it does not work, we would be out more money and time.  I am pretty sure this is good news, but we certainly have our hearts guarded as usual.
Really looking forward to the Party this Saturday...hopefully the weather is cooperative!

Legacy of an Adopted Child

Once there were two women
Who never knew each other.
One you do not remember,
The other you call mother.

Two different lives
Shaped to make yours one,
One became your guiding star,
The other became your sun.

The first gave you life,
And the second taught you to live it.
And the first gave you a need for love,
And the second was there to give it.

One gave you a nationality.
The other gave you a name.
One gave you the seeds of talent,
The other gave you aim.

One gave you emotions,
The other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile,
The other dried your tears.

One gave you up,
It was all that she could do.
The other prayed for a child,
And God led her straight to you.

And now you ask me through your tears,
The age old question through the years.
Heredity or environment, Which are you a product of?
Neither, my Darling, Neither,
Just two different kinds of love.